I'm a big advocate of sincere relationships at work. You've read me earlier on the importance of relationships to your wellbeing and career and the number one mistake leaders make when they do not dedicate time to build relations. How intimate should relationships be at the workplace? The answer to this is highly personal, and here's mine. Please take it as a starting point to clarify your stand. It can spare you lots of false steps.

At work I don't want to build friendships.

I aspire to be a great colleague and an authentic leader at work. I run two companies and a small group of employees and collaborators, as you may know. We're empathic, and we focus on delivery.

My external network is deep and wide. I've nurtured it for years under the same code of conduct. I do not want to build friendships, and I avoid conflicts of interest.

My motivation has always been honesty. I've sought to be supportive and transparent, much more than strategic.

I care about my colleagues, but I don't want work and personal life to mix up. In my experience, staying friendly but not necessarily a friend is more sustainable. It requires clarity about expectations and healthy boundaries - and art in itself I can help you master if you need an extra pair of eyes!

I don't seek free advice from coaching colleagues.

In the advent of turmoil and decision-making, professionals often turn to other professionals in similar positions, backgrounds, or experiences seeking advice.

They end up with lots of well-meant advice, proportional to their confusion.

Truth is friendly conversation, even if the objective does not offer what coaching does. A coach is a professional who doesn't have any other purpose in mind than to keep you focused on your own goal.

It would help if you had confidentiality and a judgment-free environment to get clarity, transform and get a fundamental change of perspective. A professional coach can hold truths that a friend or an experienced colleague (even if trained as a coach) can't.

Why do we do that, then? Often, to spare time, access a quick solution and limit the investment or because "they already have the context and can save you time." Often it is an expensive detour. But that's for you to test and draw your conclusions. Be mindful of your investment in energy, money, and time.

Friendships are my place to let go.

In friendship, I want to let go. Just be. Humble, out of my mind, or with a few more gin tonics in my stomach than wise! Releasing the grip altogether, you all know it's not that easy.

Releasing control creates wonderful conversations and silences, where we can be with each other without any expectation to do, say, or perform. Family and friends are my priority, and I organize my schedule and time off to protect them above all.

→ This topic is open to discussion. How is it for you? Share your experience. Let’s spark the conversation.

This case is part of the Professional Challenges that Nail Down to Personal Issues series.

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I'm the founder of BOC Institute, one of the renowned consulting agencies for international companies operating in Slovenia and South-East Europe.

I coach CEOs and top managers 1:1 worldwide. I'm here to save you time, energy, and money through your objectives, decision-making, and leadership development. I understand we can change the world one coaching session at a time!

Do you feel like having a call? You can reach out here and let me guide you from there.

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Simona Špilak www.simonaspilak.com